I found this Instagram account which is so great. It’s called brutalrecovery. Above is one of the memes posted there. It rung so true for me I wanted to rank and blog a little (or maybe a lot) about how I fit into every sober category. 

Let’s go from least applicable to most applicable.

#6 - fitness sober 

I just don’t love working out. I know a TON of men in recovery who fit squarely into this category almost to a fault. I could use more gym time bit at the same time I get plenty of exercise on the job.

I never take mirror selfies (although I do take regular selfies.) 

It has taken me much longer than it should have but I’ve finally developed a relationship with dad that works for both of us. 

I don’t think I’m “absolutely furious” but I have to admit that I have it in me to get more upset at stupid shit than the average person. 

#5 - slutty sober

If I really needed to be “desired to exist” I’d be in real trouble. 

This one is geared toward women but I can definitely make “her” my higher power. Any woman who shows the slightest interest in me I get much too excited about. 

I never cry in the shower. I don’t do anything in the shower except shower and maybe occasionally sing. 

#4 - baking and crafting sober 

I enjoy cooking, but not so much baking. I do zero crafts. 

Peace and quiet I am lucky enough to get quite often. Probably too often. 

Mom used to be my BEST friend until the dementia and Alzheimer’s took hold. I miss old mom. 

I don’t do Etsy. 

#3 - weirdly spiritual now sober 

I truly believe surrendering to God was the most powerful thing I did to restore my sanity. So for me it wasn’t as “weird” as others. 

I *did* start talking about God one day but it wasn’t random. 

Serenity is just a way of life now. 

Idk what she means by “chaotic advice friend”. 

#2 - cigarettes and coffee sober

I don’t smoke and never have but I drink coffee like it’s going out of style. 

I’m doing a LOT of different creative things in order to finally get my genius discovered. 

I really don’t have a sleep schedule to speak of so in that way you can say it’s “fucked up.”  A regular schedule wouldn’t kill me. 

I’m not burnt out quite yet but I’m definitely going in a lot of directions creatively. I need to pick one and do that really well instead of trying to do everything. There’s not that much time in the day. 

And finally…

#1 - memeing through the pain sober 

Comedy is absolutely my go to in order to stay on track. 

ALL I would do is cry if I weren’t laughing. 

People love me regardless of whether or not I make them laugh but I def believe they love me more when I give them a good chuckle. 

I’ve started making a concerted effort to stop with the “lol” after almost everything I say but most shit I say is funny as hell so it’s hard. Even the most serious thoughts my brain will construe as funny or come up with a way to *make* it funny. 

I hope you enjoyed this rundown and have a beautiful day!

Recovery is brutal. 

Peace.